Advent Retreat: Day One
Theme: Jesus and the Family

The theme of the first day of retreat was how much Jesus loved his family and how we need to embrace our family and love them. When this happens, we bring ourselves closer to God. Father Esker, our guest Redemptorist priest, began the evening with a Gospel reading from Matthew that delineated the genealogy of Jesus that included 42 generations of family members. He spoke of the Incarnation of Jesus: He became man and his “family tree” included black sheep just like most families. Sometimes we think about our own black sheep and want them to change. Jesus, however, didn’t hold anything against them. In fact, he said he came on earth for the sinners! Jesus took on our humanity because he loves us. Today, we need to build our family in the light of God and the Trinity. We have been created to live in the family. Father asked us, “What is the family?” He told us it is a communication in love. We look after each other because of our love for them. We may fight and have disagreements, but in the end we love each other. Jesus brought the love of God to his disciples, “his family”. He showed his love of family through several miracles including changing water to wine at the wedding in Cana, curing the mother of Andrew and Peter, and raising Lazarus from the dead. Jesus also gathers us into His family. Father Esker ended the service with a symbol. He showed us a plate, fork, spoon, and knife. He invited us to set a place at our table for Jesus so he is part of our family. When family comes, we set a plate for them. Set a plate for Jesus and leave it on the table to remind us that Jesus has a place at our table and in our hearts. We spent the last 5 minutes in prayer with Jesus thinking about the members of our family, what positive traits they have, and thanking Jesus.

Advent Retreat: Day Two
Theme: Jesus and the Family

Father Esker continued his theme of Jesus coming into this world and into our family. A reading from the Book of Genesis reminded us of when God created man, animals, and then woman so man would not be alone, but have someone who could be his equal. In the Gospel according to John, Father Esker read when Jesus told his disciples to love one another as He loved them. He also called them His friends. At that time friend meant someone almost closer than a family member. Father Esker shared how much God values marriage and the family. Although, he said, God’s plan doesn’t always work especially with the divorce rate at 50%. God, however, doesn’t give up. He wants us to grow and learn from our mistakes. He blesses those who try to accept each other’s differences and grow as a people and a family. Father Esker encourages us to share our differences, listen to the differences, appreciate the differences, BUT have a common set of values. To accomplish this, Jesus must be in the center of our lives. It is so much harder to do the above without faith. In addition to working on our marriages, Father Esker applied the same principles to parents and children. He wondered how much time parents have in their busy lives for their children. He felt some are over protective and need to allow their children to make decisions, mistakes, and help them to learn and move on. Other problems also occur when adults have to take care of their aging parents. Sometimes they are set aside instead of caring for them. Father Esker once again emphasized how we need to “be there” for one another. Jesus came on this earth to be with us, together as a family. He knows how life is “messy” and that is why Jesus washed the feet of his disciples. It was a sign of welcoming and “getting the dust off”. Jesus did this as an example. “Can we do this for each other?” Father Esker indicated we can by listening, taking time for each other, and welcoming Jesus into our lives. We cannot do any of this alone. We need to remember that Jesus is always with us. Only then can we dedicate ourselves to one another, our church, and our family. Together with the Lord we can find strength!

Advent Retreat: Day Three
Theme: It’s all about the children.

Father Esker encouraged us to share the richness God brings to our lives with our children. The family is the first place children learn to love. Love is not about things. It is about a child sitting on his/her parent’s lap, parents and children talking to each other, and parents showing interest in their children. Father indicated that sometimes parents only scratch the surface when they might ask, “Where are you going?”, “Who are you with?”. They need to go deeper and ask questions like, “What’s really happening?”, “How are you feeling?”, or “What’s going on?” Father Esker reminded us that rules need to established, but they should be reasonable. Rules are not just for convenience, but also to challenge the child to be a better person. It’s not a question of doing the best at the moment, but doing what is right. He stated that we want our children to grow in grace, to be good children and to have hope. Father Esker suggested that correction is stronger that punishment. Remind the child to do better next time. “Parents can make mistakes,” Father Esker said, but “Go with your heart, believe. Jesus is with you. He gives us the Holy Spirit.” Father said it “drives him nuts” when parents say, “Not my child!” We need to teach our children responsibility. We can’t just condemn society. We have to show that there is another way. Just as Jesus passed down all he knew to the apostles, and the apostles passed it down to their followers, we know what we have is right and we must pass it on just like Jesus and his disciples did.

Advent Retreat: Day Four
Theme: God is Love

On the last day of our Advent Retreat, Father Karl Esker celebrated Mass at CTK Church. Deacon Bill and Deacon Tom assisted. Today is the feast of St. Andrew and the Gospel reading told the story of when Jesus called to Andrew, Simon, James, and John to come and follow Him and be fishers of men. Father Esker used this as a symbol for any vocation including marriage and family. He told us that we don’t always know how these vocations will turn out, but with confidence in the Lord, we can make it work or just start over. We must remember that God is merciful and Jesus will lead us on our way. Father emphasized how we can deal with hardships in a loving way. He read from St. Paul, Chapter 13 which said that God is love. Love is patient. Patience leads us to do good for one another. Love is not jealous or boastful. Love is kind. Love is not arrogant or rude. Father encouraged us to speak well to each other and of each other. He said it is so easy to judge and blame others, but that doesn’t resolve anything. Father also told us that love doesn’t rejoice in the wrong, but in the right. Instead of reminding others of their mistakes, we should forgive and start over. Love helps us trust in all things. Father talked about Mary and how the Blessed Mother didn’t know what she was getting into, but she trusted in the Lord. She didn’t understand everything about Jesus, but she was with Him to the end. Love endures all things. Finally, Father Esker ended his homily by stating, “With Mary’s guidance and the Lord’s grace, we can make it here and in God’s Kingdom!” At the end of Mass, Father Stan thanked Father Esker for words of wisdom and spending time with us in Manville. We all applauded. Father Esker remained after the service to give individual blessings to all who wished.